I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
