He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
