that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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