I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
