That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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