So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
