dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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