he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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