Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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