Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
