:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
