So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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