I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
