some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
