so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
