I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
