dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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