I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
