this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
