I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
