used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
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