I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
