He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
