i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
