Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
