His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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