heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He's a Shit stain on my heart
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
