Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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