Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
