First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Randomize
