So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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