some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
