this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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