dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
