My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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