Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
