i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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