I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
