Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
