And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
