at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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