I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
my shit smells like andre
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
