Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
