Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
