Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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