Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
