we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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