I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
