READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
