in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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